Love no more…

.

 

I stand in front of him, I stare at him.

I go numb, I lose my tongue.

I grow cold as ice and I start to shiver.

I say “I love you” with a quiver.

He laughs and passes it on as a joke.

I laugh, too, and, on my own tears, I choke…

 

I try again and it happens again;

The same old story

And I wonder; will he ever know I’m telling the truth?

Then it strikes me; he already knows!

And I start to cry…

 

I call no more,

I see him no more,

I try to run away, to hide, to exist no more in his life.

It works – for a while…

But the tears are always fresh,

The pain is always there,

The yearning, growing fast…

 

He calls me, he doesn’t find me.

He comes over, he holds my hand, he says he’s sorry…

He was too proud to say it

But, now, he simply can’t take it.

He loves me, he wants me…

He holds me, he kisses me…

But I don’t hold him back,

I don’t kiss him back,

I don’t feel him anymore,

I don’t want him anymore,

I don’t love him anymore…

 

So, with a heart as cold as ice and as hard as glass,

I pass it on as a joke and I laugh.

I see him laugh, too, then he chokes…

I can see tears in his eyes,

They only make me smile…

 

The tables have turned,

And I am happier this way…

 

 

 

N.B. This piece was originally written in November 1998. This is an updated version of it that I have edited in August 2011.

 

 

 

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